What does our society actually value? Not what we say we value, but what we recognise, compensate and celebrate, and what we expect to happen quietly, without acknowledgment?
It's a question worth sitting with, especially as Australia grapples with proposed changes to surrogacy laws. And honestly, it's bringing up some really uncomfortable tensions about pregnancy, care work and who gets paid for what.
The Australian Law Reform Commission has called our surrogacy laws "confusing, restrictive, and not fit for purpose." They're now recommending monthly payments of $1,000 to $2,000 for surrogates to recognise the physical and emotional toll of carrying a child for someone else.
The reactions are all over the place. Some people see it as long overdue. Others worry it crosses a line. And both responses make sense, because this isn't simple.
What's Happening Right Now
Right now in Australia, you can't pay someone to be your surrogate. Commercial surrogacy is illegal. The only option is altruistic surrogacy, where the surrogate gets reimbursed for medical costs, travel and legal fees, but nothing for the actual work of being pregnant.
And here's the thing. Last year, 369 families went overseas for surrogacy because they felt they had no other option here.
So the question becomes whether our laws are actually protecting anyone when they push families offshore. Or are we just creating different risks?
The Reality We're Not Talking About
Here's what sits uncomfortably at the centre of this. Pregnancy is work. Real, physical, demanding work.
It's morning sickness and fatigue. It's the risk of gestational diabetes and preeclampsia. It's the possibility of a caesarean section and months of postpartum recovery. Sometimes it's permanent changes to your body or complications that last years.
And in our current system, the doctors get paid. The lawyers get paid. Agencies and facilitators get paid. But the person doing the most significant physical and emotional labour? They're expected to do it for free.
So here's the question that makes people uncomfortable. Is it more exploitative to pay someone for nine months of labour, or to expect them to give it freely while everyone else profits?
Why This Feels So Complicated
The tension here is real, and it matters to sit with it rather than rush to an answer.
On one hand, recognising surrogacy as labour feels right. It says your body matters. Your time matters. Your health matters. The contribution you're making is enormous and it deserves to be valued.
On the other hand, there's genuine concern about what happens when we put a price on pregnancy. Does it create pressure for women in difficult financial situations to take on risks they wouldn't otherwise choose? Does it turn reproductive capacity into something that can be bought and sold?
And then there's this question of who gets to decide what counts as exploitation. Is it more paternalistic to stop women from being compensated for their labour, or to allow it with proper safeguards in place?
These aren't rhetorical questions. They're the real tensions Australia is trying to navigate right now.
The Bigger Picture About Care
This conversation about surrogacy sits inside something much larger. How we value care work, especially the kind predominantly done by women.
We don't pay mothers for pregnancy. We chronically underpay doulas, midwives, early childhood educators and disability support workers. People doing intimate, physically demanding, emotionally complex work.
So when we say surrogacy should be altruistic, or that pregnancy is priceless, what are we actually saying? That women's reproductive labour has no economic value? Or that it's so valuable it shouldn't be reduced to money?
Both things can feel true at the same time. And that's what makes this so hard.
What Protection Could Actually Look Like
The commission has also recommended creating a national regulator for surrogacy, which feels important. Right now there's a patchwork of state laws with no consistent oversight.
Real protection would include things like independent legal advice, psychological support, clear medical protocols, transparent accounting and proper care for surrogates who experience complications.
The goal isn't to create a commercial industry. It's to recognise the reality of what surrogacy involves and build a system that genuinely supports everyone. Surrogates, intended parents and the children born through these arrangements.
Where We Go From Here
There aren't neat answers here, and perhaps there shouldn't be yet. But any system we create needs to honour the dignity and autonomy of surrogates, protect children and support families, all while being honest about what pregnancy actually demands.
Whether $2,000 a month is enough, too much or beside the point depends on what we believe surrogacy should be. A gift? Labour? Something entirely different that we don't have the frameworks for yet?
Here's what matters. If someone you loved wanted to be a surrogate, or needed one to build their family, what would you want the system to protect? What would you want it to make possible?
Those questions matter, because how Australia answers them will shape families for generations.
You don't need to have this figured out. None of us do. But thinking about what we value, who we protect and how we support the people doing the hardest work? That's worth sitting with.
And whatever you're feeling about this, whether it's confusion, conflict or uncertainty, that makes sense. This is complex, and it's okay for it to feel that way.
Disclaimer: The information presented by Fill Your Cup is not a substitute for independent professional advice. Nothing contained here is intended to be used as medical advice and it’s not intended to be used to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease, nor should it be used for therapeutic purposes or as a substitute for your own health professional's advice.
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