A New Mums Guide to Finding Your Village

You’re searching for that elusive village that everyone keeps talking about? And you’re thinking… did I miss the memo on this one. How the heck do I find them?

I hear you!

When I was 33 weeks pregnant, I moved to a new suburb and knew nobody. I didn’t know the local cafes, parks, playgrounds or where the mums were hanging out. So I am officially the POSTER GAL for - How the Heck Do You Find Your Village?

Here are 5 things I did to build my village as a new mum:

1. Attend Local Parent or Baby Groups (Even Just Once)

I attended a local library Rhyme Time and slowly built up the courage to chat with other mums. Which in turn, evolved into grabbing a coffee afterwards, which evolved into exchanging numbers and park meet-ups.

Many communities run free or low-cost new parent meet-ups, baby sensory classes, library story times, or breastfeeding support groups. The first visit can feel awkward, but showing up even once can spark a connection. You’re not committing to forever—just opening the door to possibility.

My Tip: Start by asking your maternal child health nurse or community centre for what’s available near you.

2. Use Social Media (Mindfully!) to Find Local Mum Circles

Platforms like Facebook, Peanut, or even local area groups on Instagram can be gold mines for connection. Search for groups like “Mums of [Your Suburb/City]” or “Due in [Birth Month]” and don’t be afraid to post a simple “anyone want a coffee walk?” message.

You’d be surprised how many mums are lurking, just waiting for someone to go first.

Tip: Keep your eyes peeled for @wombee.app - they are creating something amazing for new mums!

3. Create a Consistent Routine Activity in Public

We had a cafe at the end of the our street and I religiously visited around 10:30am most days. It’s funny how to start to see the same familiar faces and in a world where nothing is consistent with baby life - this was a saving grace!

So my advice, pick one place to go every week—like the same café, playground, or pram walk route. Familiar faces eventually turn into small talk, and small talk can turn into friendship. Consistency makes you feel seen, even before you're known.

You're not just building your baby’s routine—you’re building yours, too.

4. Ask for Help (and Accept It, Even if It’s Imperfect)

Gosh, was ai terrible at this! But overtime and LOTS of practice, I have become better at it.

It can feel uncomfortable, but saying “I need help” to a friend or family member—even if they’ve been distant—gives them a chance to step up. They might not offer the perfect solution, but imperfect support is better than none.

Try: “I’m feeling really isolated. Any chance we could go for a walk or FaceTime this week?”

5. Find a Professional ‘Village Member’

Finally, if you’re feeling like your friends and family are being a bit flaky - look outside the box. Your village doesn’t have to be all peers. A postpartum doula, maternal counsellor, lactation consultant, or even your GP can be key emotional supports in early motherhood. These people get it, and they can hold space when others can't or won't.

Building a village includes both personal and professional supports—it’s about the whole web, not just one type of connection.

Finding your village can take time and courage, especially when doors seem closed. But you're not alone in this search—and your village is out there. Sometimes you just need to knock on a few new doors.