Motherhood, Messiness and Meaning: Finding Yourself in the Fog

I’ll never forget how I felt when I became a mum. Tired, emotional, stretched thin, and completely unsure if I was doing it right. Everyone else seemed to have it together, but me? I was googling everything at 2am, second-guessing myself, and feeling the weight of every decision.

What I know now is this: it’s not you, mama. It’s the system. The care you should have had was never designed to give you what you needed. The gaps aren’t your fault. And you are not failing.

The Unspoken Truth of Postpartum

Modern motherhood often leaves us feeling like we’ve missed the manual. And in some ways, we have. Postpartum support remains patchy at best, despite the stats telling us otherwise. Did you know that while 96% of Aussie mums start breastfeeding, only 39% are still exclusively breastfeeding by 12 weeks? Or that most of us will co-sleep at some point, even if we swore we wouldn’t?

These aren’t just numbers, they’re reminders that the system doesn’t always fit the shape of real life. That feeding, sleep, and recovery aren’t about perfect plans, but about support, flexibility, and informed choices.

Why “Normal” Looks Nothing Like Instagram

One of the biggest pressures new mums face? Feeling like they’ve got to be “on top of it all.” But the truth is, even the best-prepared mums feel untethered. Our brains literally rewire after we give birth. Add in sleep deprivation, hormonal shifts, and a cultural obsession with bouncing back, and it’s no wonder we feel overwhelmed.

Let’s normalise that. Let’s say it out loud: rage, resentment, tears, and joy can all exist in the same hour. And they often do.

The Myth of the Perfect Mum

Here’s something we need to repeat often: the perfect mum doesn’t exist. She’s a myth, and striving for her is exhausting. What matters is showing up with love, asking for help when you need it, and trusting that you're doing enough because you are.

And if you’re wondering what “doing well” in postpartum actually looks like? It’s not about having a tidy house or a sleeping baby. It’s about having realistic expectations, supportive relationships, and a space where you feel seen and heard.

Let’s Rebuild the Village

Support is the antidote to postpartum overwhelm. Whether that’s a cup of tea with a friend, a WhatsApp group of mums up at 3am, or a local family centre that welcomes you just as you are, support matters.

We know that in cultures where new mums are surrounded by community, they thrive. So even if you’ve got to build that village from scratch, it’s worth it. Because raising a child takes a village, but raising a mother takes a community.

You’re Not Alone in the Fog

If motherhood has felt messy, uncertain, or heavier than you expected, you’re not the only one. The fog will lift, slowly but surely. In the meantime, you’re allowed to find meaning in the in-between. You’re allowed to ask for help. And most of all, you’re allowed to go gently.

You’re doing better than you think even on the days when it feels like you’re not.

If you’re ready for a bit more support, we’d love to walk beside you.

📍 We offer doula care across Brisbane, Gold Coast, Sydney, Hobart, Melbourne and Geelong.

🖥️ Learn more or connect with our team at ifillyourcup.com

Disclaimer: The information on this website presented by Fill Your Cup is not a substitute for independent professional advice.

Nothing contained in this site is intended to be used as medical advice and it is not intended to be used to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease, nor should it be used for therapeutic purposes or as a substitute for your own health professional's advice