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Confidence in the Chaos: How to Stay Kind to Yourself

There’s a version of me from early motherhood that I hardly recognise now. She was tired, stretched thin, constantly questioning herself, and absolutely convinced that everyone else had it more together.

Back then, I thought confidence meant having all the answers. Not wondering if I was doing this whole parenting thing right. I thought it looked like decisiveness, certainty, and that calm, collected voice everyone else seemed to have. Spoiler alert: it doesn’t.

What I’ve learned since then, and keep learning, is that confidence doesn’t come from doing it all perfectly. It comes from showing up anyway. It comes from embracing our vulnerability, not pretending it doesn’t exist.

Confidence Doesn’t Have to Be Loud

We’ve all heard the stereotypical version of confidence: the firm handshake, the big voice, the flawless presentation. But what if confidence is also the quiet kind? The one that gently reminds you that you’re allowed to take up space, even when you’re still figuring things out?

Confidence might look like:

  • Saying “I need help”
  • Asking a question in a room full of answers
  • Taking a deep breath and trusting yourself, just a little

The Posture That Softens Everything

Next time you feel yourself hunching forward under the weight of your day, try this: shoulders back, heart open, and a soft smile toward the sky. It sounds simple, maybe even a bit silly, but it can be a powerful circuit breaker. One that reminds your body that you’re safe, grounded, and held.

This small act is more than a reset. It’s a reclaiming. A way of saying, “I’m here, and I’m allowed to be.”

The Tough Stretches Aren’t Forever

If you’re in a chapter of life that feels particularly hard right now, whether it’s sleepless nights, career uncertainty, hormonal chaos or emotional heaviness, know this: it’s not a failure. It’s not forever. It’s just a tough stretch.

You’re allowed to grieve the ease you used to feel. You’re allowed to crave the next version of you. And in the meantime, you’re also allowed to show yourself some damn grace.

Little Comments, Lasting Imprints

Ever had a tiny comment stick with you for years? A throwaway line from someone that echoed in your head long after they’d forgotten it? You’re not alone. These small moments can shape how we see ourselves, for better or worse.

But here’s the good news: for every unhelpful story we’ve internalised, there’s an opportunity to rewrite it. We can choose which voices to carry with us, and which ones to lovingly let go.

Confidence Doesn’t Mean You Never Struggle

It just means you trust yourself to come back.

To pause. To reflect. To keep going with a little more kindness in your pocket.

So if your inner critic is loud today, if your doubt is dancing circles around your to-do list, come back to your breath. Come back to your body. Come back to that gentle voice inside that knows, you’re not broken. You’re becoming.

You’re Not Alone in This

At Fill Your Cup, we support mums in every stretch of life, with practical care, calm reassurance and a village that knows what it’s like to question everything and still keep showing up.

Whether you’re navigating a new identity, unlearning old stories, or just trying to remember the last time you finished a cup of tea while it was still hot… we see you.

📍 We offer doula care in Brisbane, Sydney, Hobart, Melbourne and Geelong.

🖥️ Learn more or connect with our team at ifillyourcup.com

Disclaimer:

The information on this website presented by Fill Your Cup is not a substitute for independent professional advice.

Nothing contained in this site is intended to be used as medical advice and it is not intended to be used to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease, nor should it be used for therapeutic purposes or as a substitute for your own health professional's advice

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