Motherhood is a beautiful mess of love, learning, and, let’s be honest, a fair bit of chaos. From the moment you welcome your little one into the world, you’re bombarded with advice, opinions, and expectations. And when it comes to setting boundaries and building strong connections, it can sometimes feel like you’re caught between “too much” and “not enough.”
But here’s the thing, parenting isn’t about getting it perfect—it’s about showing up with love and intention, even when the going gets tough.
Why Boundaries Aren’t the Villain
Boundaries often get a bad rap, but they’re not about control, they’re about creating safety. When kids know there are limits, they feel secure because someone they trust is guiding the ship. Without boundaries, children can feel overwhelmed and even anxious, thinking they need to take charge of situations far beyond their age.
And let’s face it, setting boundaries can be just as much about our own emotional capacity as it is about their behaviour. The key is starting only what you can realistically hold. Consistency helps your child understand the “why” behind the boundaries and helps you stay grounded in the face of their inevitable persistence.
Connection Matters (But Perfection Doesn’t)
One of the most reassuring things about parenting? Research shows that to build a secure attachment with your child, you only need to be responsive 30 to 50 percent of the time. Yes, you read that right! You don’t have to be perfect, just present enough to let your little one know you’re there for them when it matters most.
This means you can release some of the pressure to do it all, all the time. It’s not about being a superhero, it’s about being human, showing your love through small, consistent moments.
Practical Tips for Setting Boundaries with Love
Start Small and Stay Consistent: Choose boundaries you can stick to, and don’t feel guilty about saying “no” when needed.
Validate Their Feelings: Let your child know it’s okay to feel frustrated or upset, even when they don’t get their way.
Take Care of You: Boundaries are hard to enforce if you’re running on empty. Prioritise your self-care, it’s not selfish; it’s essential.
Let’s Embrace the Mess
Parenthood is messy, unpredictable, and full of lessons, for both you and your kids. But within that mess lies the beauty of connection, growth, and love. Remember, it’s not about having all the answers or getting it “right” all the time. It’s about showing up, learning alongside your child, and creating a safe, loving space where you both can thrive.
You’ve got this, mama—chaos and all!
For more practical tips and deeper insights on this topic, listen into our discussion with Dr Siobhan Kennedy-Costantini on episode 152 of The Science of Motherhood.
Disclaimer: The information on this website presented by the Fill Your Cup is not a substitute for independent professional advice.
Nothing contained in this site is intended to be used as medical advice and it is not intended to be used to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease, nor should it be used for therapeutic purposes or as a substitute for your own health professional's advice.
Leave a comment (all fields required)